What a week....

It has certainly been a heck of a week.  Time seems to be flying by and no sign of it SLOWING DOWN at all!

I haven't heard much from my Marine, other than an email here and there that is Literally 2 sentences long.  I am so looking forward to NO MORE emails and being able to actually carry on a conversation in person with him.  There has been NO emotion or feeling in his emails.  Just the tell the girls I miss them and love them.  And the  I will be home soon stuff. 

I had ANOTHER Drs appt on Tues.  I just haven't felt like myself.  I have HypoThyroidism (I think that's the one) and I take medication everyday to help.  Well I had my most recent bloodwork done on Sept 3.  I have YET to receive the results from that.  I have called 3 times and left messages 3 times for my PCM.  Thank you Naval Hospital for being so on top of things.... NOT!  I have all the signs that the meds NOT working right.  COMPLETELY exhausted ALL THE TIME!  Loosing my hair by the handfuls just to name 2 of them.  SO- I go in to see the doctor.  I tell him that my back is STILL hurting and I just am not feeling good.  I asked about the results to my test and he goes to check on them.  When he comes back in he starts to ask me the normal questions... How many kids do you have? Do you work? Is your husband home or deployed? etc.  Then he tells me that my Thyroid level is only at a 2. something and last time (in Feb) it was at a 4.25.... AH HELLO!  Yes it is totally OFF!  And what does the Dr. chalk it up to??? Wait for it... Wait for it.....

STRESS!

Yup! that's right my thyroid is off because of stress.  HE WOULDN'T change my dosage and wants me to wait til 2 months after my Marine gets back to get my bloodwork done again.... til things get back to "normal". I was so mad.  I actually broke down right there and cried. And all the Dr says to me is "it's good to cry. I think you need to call a friend or someone to TALK to them.  Or just pick up your baby and she can give you a hug and a kiss and make it ALL better" Well my girls are the reason why I don't lay in bed all day dude!  I mean SERIOUSLY!

Anyways, the rest of the week flew by staying busy with school stuff and just not feeling good.  We had planned to go back down to Camp Pendleton this weekend to go to the beach.... and so I was a good mommy and kept those plans, even though I felt HORRIBLE!  I even let Haylee (my oldest) bring along her friend, that I might as well call my own since she practically LIVES here!  She is ALWAYS here! Well that was a REALLY BAD choice!  Other than the drive down to Pendleton, that took 4 hours... THANK YOU traffic!  The rest of the time was argument and the silent treatment by this friend to Haylee.  She is one of those kids that can get on your nerves easy.  And she is NEVER wrong... according to her.  She is just brutal when it comes to fighting.  She talked about my daughter, Haylee,  to my other daughter, while Haylee was sitting right there. I finally said to her last night  "are you really that upset about a certain situation?" And what do I get?  She COMPLETELY ignores me and says NOTHING!  WOW!  I have done more for this little girl and I get to be treated like crap?  She came along and didn't help pay for any of her food.  Oh and then she tells me "we don't eat out at fast food."  I will tell you what... that is the LAST TIME she goes ANYWHERE with us.  Never again!  And when we dropped her off and home today not even a Thank you for letting me go or anything.

OH! and wait it only gets better.  My baby started running a fever.  But me, being the long time mom, thought it was her teeth coming in.  I gave her medicine and as soon as it kicked in her fever went away and she was back to her happy self.  Until last night at dinner she wouldn't move her head or neck.  It scared me... I thought she might have an ear infection that was paralyzing her.  I had no idea. So as soon as dinner was done we headed to the Naval Hospital ER, yes with 5 kids, by MYSELF! (I know I am crazy!)  Her fever was 102.8 and they were really worried when the triaged her that it might be meningitis, so they took her right back and within 10 minutes the doctor came in to see us.  They put us in an isolation room.  After a brief check of her the doctor felt her neck and then checked her throat.... STREP!  What?  She isn't even 2 yrs old.  But LUCKILY that is all it was and now after 3 doses of medicine she is back to her happy self and doing MUCH better.  

So I am hoping to get some SLEEP tonite, because I feel like I am already coming down with strep. Oh the joys.

Thanks for listening to my rants and my LOVELY week.  Hoping this week will be MUCH better!     

just Blah!

This weekend has gone by too quickly that is FOR SURE!

Yesterday was FULL of cleaning house.  I have hit that wall of OK IT'S TIME TO GET IN GEAR AND CLEAN AND DO ALL THOSE THINGS I SHOULD'VE DONE ALL DEPLOYMENT LONG.....

I am SHOCKED that we have hit the last leg of this deployment.  I think that last is the hardest!

Anyways, I divided the chores between my girls... knowing full well that MY list of TO DO's was WAY longer than theirs (as it ALWAYS is!)  I have a REALLY bad habit of getting sidetracked.  I am CERTAIN I am the ONLY one who does, right? (it's ok to admit that you do it to.... come on, I REALLY don't want to be alone on this one)  I started in the kitchen, like normal... made my way to the livingroom to change a diaper, even BEFORE I was done with the kitchen.. oh! and since I was in the livingroom I might as well fold the load of laundry sitting there. So I did. Then Kelsee (#3) needed some HELP getting started in the playroom.  Well there goes another hour & a half!  Then it was time for another load of laundry, then lunch, then back to the grind of cleaning. Oh then a nap for the baby. Then another load of laundry. Then had to run to the commissary to get that 1 thing I needed to finish dinner. An hour and a half later home and making dinner, putting away all the groceries (because I can NEVER go for just that 1 thing I really needed) Then bath time for the girls, and time for me to stop and take a breath.  And oh ya... all of this with my Back KILLING ME! I hurt it (again) last weekend when I fell carrying a twinsize mattress out to my yard sale.  You guessed it... flat on my back on the hard driveway with the mattress landing on top of me.  I have never hurt so bad.  I just have to NOT think about it! I am a MOM and right now a SINGLE MOM at that.  I can't just lay on the couch (although I REALLY want to) so by the end of my day yesterday I was toast!  I sat on my Marines recliner and looked around my house.  Really?  What had been accomplished today? My girls were fed, bathed and Alive.  My house, yet again, will have to wait.

So that was yesterday.  Today has been one of those BLAH days.  Because I WAY OVERDID it yesterday, Church was out of the question for us today.  There was No way I was going to be able to sit for 3 hours, let alone deal with my baby crying because she doesn't like nursery. I needed to rest, to take a break, to recoop and HOPEFULLY feel better. We started off good. I slept in until about 8:45am. Then we all sat at the kitchen table and read our scriptures. (I figured since we missed church reading double would be a good idea) 

But as the day wore on that was not going to happen either.  I have just been BLAH all day.  I kinda feel like I have NO emotion in me.  If you are a military wife, you understand. There comes a point when you are just DONE.  I am there.  I need a BREAK.  Not that I don't love my girls, because I am crazy about them. I just need a little bit to rejuvenate myself.  I feel so worn down. What will it take to get the pep back in my step?  I will have to think of something.... because I certainly don't like feeling like this

I know I have blogged about this kind of stuff before, sorry for that. But This is the best sounding board I have right now.

I just HAVEN'T been in the MOOD!

 have gotta say I have NOT been in the MOOD to do much of ANYTHING lately and I feel REALLY bad about it.  I have checked my Blog everyday hoping to have new followers… but NOTHING!  But then again there is NOTHING new to “follow”.  I mean for Heaven sakes I haven’t even finished my #3’s birthday blog stuff and it was a week ago L I am such a slacker. 

I haven’t been in the best of moods lately.  LOTS of stress and things bugging me.  I know I REALLY need to learn to let things go and just roll of my back. But I have NEVER been that type of person. (I only wish I was… life would be SO MUCH easier!)

I mean,  I have wanted to blog…. That hasn’t worked. I have wanted to clean my house. (yes it is to THAT point that it is driving me NUTS) I have wanted to catch up on all the shows I have DVR’d. but that hasn’t happened either.  So what HAS happened over the last week?  Well, I have worked out (20-30 minutes) every nite for over a week now.  I have chased down and picked up after my 22 month old. (yes, my BABY is 22 months old TODAY!) I have fed my girls, done laundry, did the school runs back and forth and gone to the commissary 1 time this week OH! And I also took my girls “down the hill” to Chuck E Cheese (I should get brownie points for that).  So although I get up at 6am every morning and don’t go to bed until WELL after 11pm I look around my house and I haven’t accomplished much.

I went to the dr. today to have my back checked out…. Funny thing is the dr never even looked at my back until just before she walked out.  She had already figured out the diagnosis (off of what I had told her and explained) Are you kidding me?  I could’ve just called you and you could’ve put in a consult to Physical therapy for me without me coming in.  She told me that the inactivity (because of my back pain) is probably the thing causing the weight gain.  Thing is I am NO dr. but the weight gain ISN’T helping my back pain AT ALL either! I have NEVER been this heavy…. Even being preggo with all 4 of my girls.  This is NOT what my body is used to.  I have tried REALLY hard to work out.  I am VERY limited in what I CAN do. 

But ENOUGH about my weight.

I got an email this morning from my Marine…. What a great way to get up in the morning J other than hearing his voice on the other end of the phone.  This was all of it….

I had a dream about you last night. We were looking at a house that was really rundown, but you came down the hall into whatever room I was in and you had a tattoo that went from your left shoulder across your back to your right hip. It was like one of those you would see in a tattoo magazine. Then I woke up, it was strange because I haven’t seen a tattoo magazine in a very long time. Oh well, it is what it is. just thought I would let you know that I was thinking about you. I will write more later. 143 Forever

(he will probably be REALLY ticked that I shared this! OH WELL He may NEVER know!)

 Come on, Really?  YUP! That’s all I got.  My Marine cracks me up. I mean I haven’t heard from him in almost a week and this is the email he sends to me.  OH! And wait… it was a REPLY to an email I sent to him of I LOVE YOU! MISS YOU! Blah Blah Blah!  Well at least he told me 143 (our code for I LOVE YOU!)

Sorry I am in a bad mood and maybe today ISN’T the best day to blog either…. I will GET OVER IT!  I always do.  But ya know some days are just MORE than you can handle. 


I am REALLY LOOKING forward to a LONG 3 day weekend with my girls