Friday, September 17, 2010

Outlaws.. I mean InLaws

Ya know this deployment has gone by REALLY fast.  Maybe it’s because it was during the spring. Getting outta school, summer, school starting time. Who knows.  I do know this though. I am looking forward to spending time with my Marine when he gets home.  The last 3 emails he has sent to me he has said “don’t plan on doing anything or going anywhere for awhile when I get home! I plan on just being HOME!”
 Well I sure hope that means NOT going to visit HIS family either!  I swear at this point I could never hear from them again and be ok.  I have blogged about them before. And I know that is NOT Christ-like AT ALL to be mean or think bad thoughts about someone or many someone’s!  I know I shouldn’t feel like that but I do. You know my Marine and I have been together going on 19 years in November (YA that IS a LONG time!) I would think by now they would get the picture that I am here to STAY!  I have dealt with way too much crap from them.  This deployment is NO different EXCEPT they have not even contacted us, except by text 1 time.  My SIL text me to tell me that she was FINALLY going through the temple. and 1 message on my Marine's Facebook page. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Out of my Marine’s whole family (1 brother and 4 sisters) we (my Marine and I) are active and then 2 SILs. But I tell you what you live what you are exposed to.  My Inlaws are divorced and have been since my Marine was a teenager.  My BIL is married. My oldest SILwho is a member, just got divorced- we learned of that through the family blog they have. The 2nd SIL (the one mentioned above) is the one who is almost 31  is active and just went through the temple, she’s NOT married.  The 3rd SIL has been married and divorced and married again.  The 4th SIL has been married and divorced, from the SAME GUY, and then they got married again.  Definitely NOT people that have their priorities straight.  They are SO totally different than MY family.  How I grew up.  It is NOT a situation that I was MY girls to be around.  Am I wrong by that? 
When my Marine deployed right after we got back here to CA, I went ABOVE and BEYOND and went to visit them time and time again.  Driving the 5 hours to see them. To make sure that my girls knew them and had a relationship with all of them. NOT 1 time did they EVER come to visit us. They ONLY time they have come out here is when my stepdaughter graduated from high school.  They did not come to see us, just her, and my older 2 girls realize it. 
I have blocked them from my Facebook page.. wrong?  Probably but it seems to me they just don’t care about US. I am tired of putting myself and my girls out there and being hurt OVER AND OVER again!  This deployment has been great. Spending time with MY family.  Traveling to Utah and just being US. Not having to worry about the ILs and making time for them. And it hasn’t seemed to bother them either.  Birthday’s have come and gone for my girls and not even so much as a phone call.  I get it 44 cents for a stamp to mail a Birthday card is TOO much! I just don’t get it.  This is how it has ALWAYS been with them.
But the straw that broke the camels back, in which is the reason for this blog is. This morning as I was blog hopping. I checked out their family blog.  My 2nd SIL is really the ONLY one who ever posts stuff on there. Anyways she posts this:
Mia was baptized tonight! It was kind of a family affair... Mom made her baptism dress, and some awesome treats (that were the first to go by the way - go figure!), I got to speak on baptism, and Morgan sang. She had family, friends, and members from two wards who came out to support her! It was awesome... :D   

  To some of you, that might not seem like a big deal But in their family where only my SIL and the mom of “MIA” are members. WHY? Why did you not let us know?  It is sad that a baptism is NOT important enough to have FAMILY there. OH wait FAMILY was there…but WE were not… are we NOT considered FAMILY?  Apparently not.  That is definitely the last straw for me.  I sure hope when my Marine gets home he can see it too. Oh but then they will play the “we are so proud of our Marine son/brother who just came back from war” Ya right! 
I could go on and on about this.  I feel a little better getting it off my chest. Thanks for those of you that listened.


  1. I think you are doing the right thing. Just stay away from them. They are wrong in this situation. If they never wake up and see what they have missed it's their loss. Just act like they don't exist.

  2. Thanks Tammy. I feel bad but I really do think I am right in this.

  3. I feel your pain Jenifer. I have a very similar situation with my in-laws. They are not invited to my family blog or FB either. It's my way of protecting myself from getting hurt and from ultimately having more hard feeling for them. I have come to forgive them (after many long years), but they are not family to me. If they want to be a part of my husbands and kids life they need to make the effort. As hard as it is, you need to stop allowing them to hurt you by going on their blogs and FB. They have no clue they are hurting you. I know how painful it is because I have lived through it! You have got to somehow find a way to have peace with it, because ultimately it is only hurting you. Hope that helps! Next time your in town lets go to lunch!

  4. Wow! Robin... That helps a ton. Thanks for being such a good friend and a wonderful support. I sure miss all our chats. We definitely need to get together.